Brain still fried after that last rep. Sod it, I've had to much sugar to sleep anyway. I can always post it later and clean it up (Pfff. The posting will happen. The clean up not so much.)
It's theoretical Cancon practice into the terrorists of the Iron Kingdoms with the evil push pully guy (Movement casters outside of mine are clearly immoral). It sure as fuck isn't going to be Thexus, I can tell you that (Sac Pawn doesn't work against Magic zap zap. Pew pew safety only).
Ergo:
Gorten1 - 2x Driller, 2x Blaster, 2x Gunner, Wrongeye w/Snapjaw, Rorsh w/Brine, Tinker, Ragman, Aiyanna + Holt, 2x Eliminators, Acosta
Objective: Bunker
It weirds me out that I don't even consider changing the list. Never really had that before, outside a Karchev list in Mark 2 of all things. Errata on throws screwing that up right before Cancon coming up shortly!
It's Entrenched, which as my least played scenario is good. Though again, the randomiser tried to give me Linebreaker. WHY CHAPPER?! WHY YOU DO DIS?! *grumble *grumble* awesome page *grumble* grumble* entitled user *grumble* *grumble* never mind me. Grumble.
Rahn1 - 2x Chimera, Sphinx, 2x Battle Mages, Mage Hunters w/UA Phantom Seeker Peep, Sentinels + UA, Arcanist, Mitten solo guy
Objective: Fuel Cache
I win the roll, elect to go second. The Mage Hunters will get a sweet round of shooting into me, but that's manageable. Plan is to use the Crocs to fort up Gorten to stop him being dragged to a heavy, which is pretty much what it'll take to pop him without an Eiryss to strip him.
Terrain wise, we have the Warmachine 2d terrain that isn't made in the Steamroller sizes, because.........Hamsterdance. Dodedodeodeodeodoedoe or something. Rat claws behind my eyeballs scratching up into my brain. Music is bad. A 1000 years of Darkness is better than willful blindness in the sun. Not the literal sun, that'd be brief and scorching.
Um.....so one side has a trench on a flank and a central hill between the zone, with irrelevant water to the right.
The other side has a pair of devil forests that I want nothing to do with, let the Tree meandering elves have that junk.
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Round 1: The left most unit is Halberdiers proxying as Battle mittens.
Outflanking Mittens move up either side, Strike Force go up the guts, jacks behind. One of the Chimeras is a pair of legs behind the wall. The Sentinels form an elf pyramid (like a human one, but only if you knew you had gods and managed to accidentally cause them to starve to death).
Rahn is waaaaaay back. No juicy murder for me.
Crocs Submerge and charge up partially, blocked by Eliminators to get the positioning I want. Gorten charges up behind them with Solid Ground and three camp up. Jacks and Drillers blob up nearby, Ragman shielded by a Driller, hoping to waste Rahns time with a Force Slammy spell thingy on a model I didn't really need that hampers a model with no threat range anyway.
Ninja Pig and the other Eliminators go to the left, this Big Piggie threatening the Elven Fuel Reserves while the Kayazy definitely weren't there to die. Lol.
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Ret 2: Thus begins an utter fricken travesty.
The Mage Hunters populate the hill and the Merc zone, pop their Phantom Hunter thing. One shoots Raggles, I ping it to Snapjaw for a damage. Sweet tech I stole from the better local Merc.
The Tinker gloriously hides beneath his cart and is near impossibru to hit, so after surveying all the stealth junk they shoot the right Spray Bunny.
Ever seen seven Mage Hunters miss a Rhulic jack? The tilt was swift and justified. The other three land hits, do most of the boxes but Dwarf tech being serious business no systems go out.
One Chimera runs up in my face, followed by the Sentinels. The Ret Heavy stays touching the wall.
The right Battle Mages mostly hide behind the forest, two run up to contest my zone on the far right edge.
Left wise, the other Mittens also run around, one goes to be one inch from a Red Eliminator (Brief flashback to when I had Pressgangers and called one unit the Communists and the other the Smurfs. I used to be funny, what happened?). The leftier of the Chimera's then slams him into an Eliminator, killing the mitten and leaving the Kayazy on one box and knocked down (Just a liiiiiiittle bit out of the Solid ground range).
Lastly Rahn chills out in the back, Force Slams the Spray Bunny (I name him Boris. BECAUSE HE'S INVINCIBLE.), killing a Green Eliminator and causing mild discomfort to Wrongeye. He then TK's Gorten back and around, which is suuuuuper annoying, but such is the Speed 4 life.
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Merc 2: Rahn is to far back to assassinate, I don't have an easy way to score, attrition it is. Normally clearing those two end Mittens wouldn't be to hard, except I had to devote resources to keeping Gorten safe, so killing that central blob it is.
The Green Eliminator runs to engage the two Battle Mittens on the right.
Snapjaw moves forward and kills the right Chimera.
These moves give space for Gorten to walk up and feat push the forward Sentinels and Mage Hunters into a blob on the hill, I also ensure I catch the Ret Heavy though I don't get the four Sentinels including the officer behind him.
The Spray Bunnies then advance and unleash straight up murder, they kill most of the blob.
Various Guns and Raggies Zap Zap spell polish more off, three Mage Hunters live due to being the outer edge I moved last with feat, so are way to the left, plus one feated on Sentinel.
This includes a Driller that I charge up as a "deal with me or I'll do bad things" piece. Disposable Heavy is best heavy. Well, not really, but damn they're easier to play.
Lastly for the centre blob Snapjaw and the other Driller finish off the fort, el Croco Submerging again. Acosta then runs up to be in the way.
Left wise, the Kayazy that got slammed walks to the back of the trench. She's the Grunt, so the unit leader charges up into the Ret zone, gutting a Battle Mage. Sod Coherency!
Brine charges the Chimera, eats it with a bought attack, Rorsh then Souie's him backward. I opt to leave Rorsh on full camp, the frenzy is highly likely but my turn has gone well enough that I think that isn't a massive issue for me.
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Ret 3: Vengeance moves ding the suicide Driller.
Rahn feats, TK's said Driller around, Force Slams a Spray Bunny over Ragman. Puts him one 1 box, because sometimes randomised chance is the worst.
The fully loaded Sphinx moves up, boosts to hit Acosta. Misses. I dodge and attack. Does it again. Misses again.
Ichiban concedes at this point, his god awful dice being to demoralising for the game to be that fun. If you are one of the four or, dare I say it, five readers of this thread, if nothing else take away that if the game isn't fun just stop. Its hard for both sides to enjoy it when one half clearly isn't.
