In the waning hours of the Capitals random public holiday Monday, a sweet sweet unclocked mess occurred. Madrak, still all Rathroky but so far without the Inspiring ability to vaporize his followers whenever he gets a papercut or stubbs his tow wondered along into prime Cygnar real estate.
You can tell it's Prime Real Estate because Generallissimo Stryker (Suspected to be in the 5th of his infinite epic versions, most thus far unreleased) stuck a pair of flags in the ground saying so.
See the Trolls being all rebellious like with their "You screwed us over blah blah blah Leto being traitorous Blood Brother waaaa waaaa we actually had the right to demand taxes when you nicked our resources gurgle gurgle", the angry Rednut made the logical decision to send Darius and a load of metal lumps to deal with it.
Er.....anyway, in a closer approximation of real English, got a game where I plonked down Darius because I felt like it, presumably on a similar whim Jacoffman dropped pMadrak.
Rolled up Close Quarters, didn't clock.
Darius + Halfjacks - Stormwall, 'Ol Rowdy, Centurion, Ace, Squire, Black 13th, Gorman, Junior
Pretty sure I mentioned a while back that I was going to try out Ace. For better or for worse, there he is.
pMadrak - Bouncer, Impaler, Sorcerer, Stone + UA, Long Riders, Sons of Bragg, Fell Caller Hero, 2x Fennblade Kithkar, Stone Scribe Chronicler, 2x Trollkin Hero, Trollkin Sorcerer, Horthol, Ferallgeist
Distinct possibility the list as written above is incorrect, there where lots of damn solos all over the shop and I can barely tell the difference between their infantry and their light beasts (Guy-who-broke-a-molotov-when-he-tried-to-throw-it is the Pyre Troll, Toothpick-Whirling-In-The-Air chump is Impaler, guy-with-ax has about a 30% chance of being an Axer).
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Troll Deploy: It's a Brick!
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Cygnar Deploy: I lost the roll, picked this side out of laziness.
My Darius is a converted Battle Mechanic, the Sentry is a Proxy for Ace, I forgot to deploy the Squire because I'm bad at playing Swans. Like, really bad.
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Troll 1: Stuff moves forward, Long Riders out front, Horthol goes behind the Obstruction (Horthol is the cav bloke with a black base, the regular riders have white iterations.
Madrak is behind the Long Riders, Moses, pops his mini-feat to put Sure Foot on him. Some other support solo puts Concealmenty thingy on the Long Riders, Madrak dumped all his Fury in the stone.
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Cygnar 1: Huh. This was already weird.
I've tried for years to dojo a Damiano list and I loathe every attempt thus far, I've never considered the Warnoun as the target of the spell.
Those Long Riders are currently Def 16 arm 20 against guns.
This is going to be bad.
I fuddle models around, keeping them outside the 12 inch threat of the cav. Ace trundles into the big forest to the right of my deployment.
Stormwall tries to wing the nearest Rider but is short on range.
I put down an optimistic Mage Storm after forgetting to Covering Fire, because again, just a bad Cygnar pilot, if this was an airplane I wouldn't have fueled or noticed the missing starboard engine before take off.
Arcane Shield goes on 'Ol Rowdy, Fortify on the Stormwall.
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Troll 2: Jacolonel throws me for another loop, running nearly his whole army hard to the left in a looong flank refused move.
A Trollkin Champ Hero and the Feralgeist stay in run to contest range of the Troll Flag. The Long Riders again get all super defence mode as the front line, Madrak with Surefoot behind.
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Cygnar 2: Well, that threw me. The hell are these Trolls doing?!
I decide to keep my distance, wing a model if I can. Once he unpacks hopefully I can get stuck in and take out something that matters (I know, I know, all Troll lives matter, shut up Leto).
Armour buff spells upkept, I throw focus to Stormwall and Ace.
Stormwall moves up and to the right out of threat range, shoots down a Long Rider. Yay first blood!
'Ol Rowdy and Darius move in front of the Stormwall, after placement I realise I mucked up and Strykers animatronic buddy is in charge range. Should only be a single Rider, it'll be fine right?
Ace moves up, shoots the Champ Hero guarding the Troll Flag for a few points.
Centrution walks backwards and Polarity Fields, he's intended to be the distraction, possibly contesting, piece in future turns. That's a strong 9 point activation that one...
Gorman and Black 13th futz around next to Darius.
I put down a couple mines, Covering Fires and Mage Storms. Not likely to do much, but every damage roll helps against this multi box nonsense.
Junior follows standard orders and walks away from the nearest clump of enemy models.
Looking at it now I probably could have run a Halfjack to the Troll Flag for an easy early CP. Oh well.
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Troll 3: That one model I killed allows both Kithkars to Righteous Vengeance, one goes towards the Centurion, the other got somewhat stuck on other Trolls I think?
Sure Foot is going to stick around all game for reference. mentally add that upkeep to each Troll turn.
Horthol runs to the bottom left Corner, ready to waylay my Centurion in future turns. One Kithkar also moves up and around the Centurion, hits him in the back for a light scratch.
Long Riders go, one charges 'Ol Rowdy for a not much damage, the others spread around. Aside from the one that Slams a buddy, sending him flying over and killing Gorman, Lynch and Watts.
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Well....
Uhhh......
Bugger. The Black 13th members dying I don't super care about, but Gorman makes the run and Jackhammer play reliable.
Ryan passes his command check anyway, so not the end of the world.
The other Kithkar charges into Rowdy as well, obscured in the photo by the Stormwall (Essentially above the Stormwall and next to the forest).
Bouncer goes to the Cygnar flag, I'm assuming to stay out of the Stormwalls threat range?
The Champ Hero and Feralgeist run to contest the Troll Flag properly.
Otherwise it's a mass of random Troll models, with the Pyre troll bringing up the rear.
Trolls go to 1 CP.
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Cygnar 3: Simple enough, pop the Long Riders because they are the current threat, pop the Stone because I'm playing into Trolls, contest the Cygnar flag.
I pop the mines to hit a Rider and Champ Hero, do no damage.
I drop Fortify, the Stormwall is keeping enough distance for now. Arcane Shield sticks on the Rowdy Piper one.
One focus to Stormwall, two to Rowdy, three stays on Darius.
Darius goes first, he Cranes Rowdy out of the melee range of the Kithkar that charged the Stormwall, then Jackhammers twice to kill the Rider that charged Rowdy, lastly does a gun shot somewhere that does nothing.
Rowdy then walks into two of the Riders, burns all his attacks to kill one and leave the other toughed out.
Ryan moves up, does a Magestorm on the stone, kills a pair of the Stone unit.
The Stormwall moves a little bit, puts a pod next to the Cygnar flag. He then double handed throws the Kithkar at the Champ hero, gets the throw but misses the Hero, scattering off him. He dies at least from the ground (Don't fear heights, far the Ground. It's what kills you.).
Centurion, being the bravest jack of them all, backpedals again and punches and stabs the Kithkar to death.
The Rider that got Slammed is knocked down, at this point I was really feeling the need to maximise the number of attacks if I could, so Junior charged the knocked down Rider, killing him with a bought attack.
Ace aimed and killed the Feralgeist.
The pair of Halfjacks both run to annoy spots, one in the bottom of the trench in the way of the Centurion, the other in front of the Champ Hero on the Troll Flag.
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Troll 4: On the Troll flag, the Champ Hero happily sits there and is joined by Moses.
In the centre of the battleline (Pretty much the centre of the Swan AD line) the Bouncer, remaining Long Rider Sons of Bragg go into Rowdy with Charge of the Trolls and Fervor up. They take out his movement and left arm.
Enjoying his own little scene on the bottom left corner, Horthol charges the Centurion and does sod all, but does get a crit knockdown.
In the centre, the Sorcerer tried to proc Battle Wizard off the Stormpod, but decided to gyrate on the pole in front of him when he has a flash back episode to his college experience (He needed the money).
Madrak goes to the Troll Flag, sighs, punches the Pod away.
The Stone moves down to above the Trench.
Trolls go to 3 CP.
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Cygnar 4: Panic Stations! Offensive scenario play loss to a Troll Brick with Cygnar I cannot handle!
I have to get as much stuff to contest the zone as possible. This is feat turn, I want Rowdy to live and it doesn't look like I'll get a good feast turn outside of that.
Junior puts Arcane Shield on the Stormwall, Rowdy gets Fortify, feat repairs Rowdy and Jackhammer kills the last Long Rider. Said upkeep monkeys then stay way back.
Up the top, Ace moves out of the forest and shoots down Moses (I genuinely don't know why I moved him there, he could have moved way to the right and threatened pinging the Champ in future turns).
Centre wise, Stormwall runs to contest the flag, finishing in the top of the troll mob. A free strike from the Bouncer rolls like an absolute boss and takes out the first couple columns on the left side.
Rowdy moves to engage the Sons, the Bouncer misses his free strike on him, so yay Karma. The cranky Old Git then flubs his rolls and kills a single Son of Bragg (I think the assault one).
Centurion punches Horthol for some damage.
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Troll 5: Up the top, the Troll Champ charges Ace, takes out his movement and most of his boxes.
Around the Stormwall, the FellCaller, Pyre Troll and Sorcerer block him in and flub attack rolls.
Sons of Bragg Fervor, have Charge of the Trolls, but the Bouncer isn't in melee range for the bonus. They take out his left side and do sod all.
Bouncer and Madrak go into Rowdy, giving up on the Dominate for the turn as the Stormwall is looking reasonably healthy, they take out his movement and hammer again.
On the bottom, a Champ starts running toward Junior, whose eyes widen in absolute fear.
Horthol moves to the other side of the Centurion, again does sod all.
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Cygnar 5: Mission don't lose was a complete success! I have an assassination shot now as well, lets get this done.
Up top, Aces glory days are done. He moves to engage and sobs.
Storm wall turns a bit, attempts to waylay the Stones, kills two of them and misses a lot (Damn you Sure Foot!).
Rowdy gets a 1 point repair off a halfjack, has a full load of Focus. Darius casts Full Throttle, walks backward into the forest, shoots the Troll Champ heading toward Junior for sod all.
Rowdy engages Madrak, misses most of his boosted attacks, burns off some Transfers.
Centurion waddles forward to toe the bottom of the trench, dismounts Horthol.
Junior shuts his eyes, squeezes the trigger. Opens them and he's knocked the Champs head off with a shot. Only elite warriors have RAT 4.
well, we didn't get this done, but I'm still trucking.
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Troll 6: Ace hums a little tune, gets hit by the Champs axe. He doesn't die, but now only has a couple boxes and his battle blade going.
Around the Stormwall, the Pyre troll scoots around the back (Stormwall hadn't engaged him because I'm silly). Double boosts a shot at Darius, hit and does a few points plus the horrible spectre of a fiery demise in my future.
Otherwise the Fell Caller fails to damage the Stormwall (Fundamentally the Fell Caller is the Stormwalls crabs this game, constantly itching and never going away as I lack the attacks for proper treatment), the Sorcerer failed at something.
Sons of Bragg have Charge of the Trolls and Fervor, but Jacostein misses the fact that the Bouncer is no longer engaging and they just do some scratches.
Madrak ties of this nonsense, walks up and kills Rowdy (He somehow ends up in the wreck marker, I don't remember how).
The Centurion again gets a light stroking from Horthol.
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Cygnar 6: Fire rolls out, just Charlie Sheening it.
Keep attacking! I want Madrak to die, didn't work last time so I figure I should remove the Transfer targets and be done with it.
Stormwall turns, Pod fails to hurt the Stone. he then does Melee attacks and kills both the Pyre and the Bouncer.
Up the top, Ace twiddles his remaining thumb. Poorly.
Centurion advances a few more inches (So swift! Such speed and grace!), punches Horthol for a bit more and kills a Stone Grunt.
Seeing where Madrak is, Darius through the forest toward the Troll flag, Junior runs to the far right board edge.
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Troll 7: Madrak runs and toes the Darius forest, Sons of Bragg across from him.
The Stone runs to the Rowdy Wreck Marker, doesn't pop an aura.
The Champ Hero finally kills Ace.
Horthol does his highest damage roll yet. Centurion takes three points.
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Cygnar 7: It's attempt #2 to kill Madrak.
Stormwall gets two. Darius casts Full Throttle, aims, hits the blocking Son of Bragg, boosts damage and falls two points short. Lamentations!
Stormwall, his straightforward charge lane blocked, goes into the Sons of Bragg. His Crabs gets a freestrike (That is, the Fellcaller Hero), does a couple damage points.
Takes out the Stormwall left arm.
I didn't get to engage Madrak anyway, I kill one Braggite, the crippled arm fails to take out the bad arm.
It is only now I realise the Stormwall could have run to engage, then been Full Throttled and Jack Hammered. Urk.
A pod and a Halfjack try to block off Madrak killing Darius.
Centurion, functionally in a different game, advances into the trench and contests the Swan flag, flails with his attacks.
Junior advances up, to the right edge of the Warnoun forest. Boosted shot causes the Ace killing Champ Hero to tough out (Obscured in photo by Stormwall).
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Troll 8: Fellcaller charges Stormwall, does no damage but Revielle's the Champ hero up.
Madrak cannot get a line to Darius, he walks across in the forest.
The Stone moves out of the Wreck Marker and pops an aura.
The remaining Son and the Champ Hero go into Darius, they put him down to about 8 boxes.
In the other game, the Centurion gets flailed at, finally loses a column (Now on about 10 damage, all systems go).
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Cygnar 8: HOW IS THIS NONSENSE STILL GOING?! DIE MADRAK DIE!
Full Throttle cast by Darius, he cranes a new Halfjack to be base to base with the Stormwall without a free strike, who then bodges the left arm back together.
Stormwall charges Madrak.
Herpes gets a free strike.
Does a single damage point.
Knocks the arm off again.
Off course he does.
Charge attack hits with good arm hits.
Madrak uses his Scroll to ignore it.
Trolling successful.
Wrecked arm misses.
Buy an attack, hit and do enough damage.
Passes tough.
I buy an attack and request another tough roll.
He reminds me that Sure Foot means he isn't knocked down.
Why dear god why?
I roll the attack, hit, he fails the tough roll.
Bout time.
That was amazing, obscene, hilarious and soul destroying.
Enjoyed it thoroughly, and yet will still be using a clock next time. Must stop dropping Darius randomly, keeps getting Trolls. It's bad.
